Saturday, December 20, 2008

AP: Detroit suckiest suck that ever sucked

So, that whole "we're the new New Orleans" thing that certain people have been floating out there locally, looks to be going national. Now, the Associated Press is saying Detroit has displaced the Big Easy as the nation's most screwed up city. They've even got stats to prove it.

Sadly, this all sounds about right. New Orleans has major, and often very similar problems, but no matter how bad things gets down there, they've got all that great food. And all those amazing cocktails. Which you can get in to go cups.

It's kind of hard for Detroit to compete on this level. The very best coney dogs paired with a frosty pint of Ghettoblaster Ale may have a certain charm, but in no way is it a fair fight against the likes of an expertly-mixed Sazerac at the Polo Club Lounge, a platter of charbroiled oysters at Drago's, the cafe au lait at Morning Call or the juicy roast beef po' boys at Parkway Bakery and Parasol's bar.

Some people say if it weren't for the food and the cocktails, New Orleans would be dead already. Some people are not that far off the mark.

Okay, so, new idea for Detroit: Drive-thru daiquiri stands on every corner. It's a start, at least. If you have to drive, say, down the length of Grand River on a grey winter day, wouldn't you rather do it with, say, an egg nog daiquiri (with an added shot of SoCo for $1 extra!) in hand? Kind of a no brainer.

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