SCENE: Russell Street after dark.
PLAYERS: Me. Also, a first-time visitor from New York.
A pack of stray dogs crosses the street, sniffing around in the snow for something to eat.
VISITOR: What are those? Wolves?
ME: No, stray dogs.
VISITOR: Really? WTF?
ME: Did you know that Downtown Detroit is 37 percent safer than the national average? Oh look, the largest national historic market district in the United States! Detroit=awesome!
VISITOR: Wow. Where are we? Stray dogs! Fuck!
ME: Err...how about them Steelers?