Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Detroit is not like other places

SCENE: Russell Street after dark.

PLAYERS: Me. Also, a first-time visitor from New York.

A pack of stray dogs crosses the street, sniffing around in the snow for something to eat.

VISITOR: What are those? Wolves?

ME: No, stray dogs.

VISITOR: Really? WTF?

ME: Did you know that Downtown Detroit is 37 percent safer than the national average? Oh look, the largest national historic market district in the United States! Detroit=awesome!

VISITOR: Wow. Where are we? Stray dogs! Fuck!

ME: Err...how about them Steelers?

1 comment:

LN said...

This made me laugh.

When I lived in am unnamed Illinois city (which I shall call 'Xshithole')in the late 80s/early 90s we had packs of dogs roaming all over town. People would bail; turn their 'pet' dogs loose on the street and split, and they'd pack up. Everyone walking carried pipes and broomsticks.

Neighbors would go out at night in their yards with flashlights and pistols and shoot at them, so there were always limping strays hopping the streets.

The dogs' taste was for eating bodies from gang murders that had been dumped in abandoned factories.

Yeah, there are always the dogs...